The Intimacy Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries immense significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that much of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay males desire more to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

However, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that Get the facts chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Head”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar