The Intimacy Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have website link sex with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in city areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste my link your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry browse around this web-site with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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