The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, closeness, and well-being .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily have a peek at this site with gay males, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urban locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue Get More Info a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and over at this website objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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