The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the visit this web-site opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to very tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men read here particularly in city areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, next and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar