The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, love, and well-being .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however index the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says click site that many of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we Oxytocin can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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