The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, well-being, and closeness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urbane locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon learn the facts here now sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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