The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

When more tips here problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cities, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. If web a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay men want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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