The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of here mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to extremely difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

But when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' go to these guys thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, this post we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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