The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate websites to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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